I am Jack's Salvation

Then there was the time when Fight Club truly was my Bible.

I was married to a vampire who was addicted to morphine.

Vampire in the blood drinking, biting of flesh kind of vampire. I still have the scars if you want to see them. 

It finally come to a point where I had enough and decided to divorce her. 

It was a painful and tragic event that I knew was necessary less she pull me further down into hell with her but in the end created its own hell within me instead.

I became splintered.

Fight Club had just opened a year or two earlier.

 It was a revelation to me on levels I cannot even explain at this point. My salvation, my absolution and my sanity was found in that film and in the pages of the book. I became Fight Club as a necessary spiritual preservation.

I began to wake up each morning to a black eye, blood packed nose, cut lip, bruised cheek or swollen ear.  The pain became me and gave me a sense that I was paying for my sins and thus releasing me.

In the truest form of Fight Club it began by fighting myself. Self inflicted and vicious. Until I found another broken soul just as willing to break one of my ribs I was.

Eventually all things pass and wounds heal both physically and spiritually.

I will however, always know that the gospels of Chuck Palahniuk saved my soul.


"Fight Club" as Bible

A friend just refreshed a period in my life with a post about Fight Club being his Bible.

I could not agree more. But let me digress.

When I was 20 I was a boxer, that would have been 1981 (do the math). Being a part of our local YMCA boxing program with a small class I was usually mismatched in the ring. I was a middle weight and there were two light weights and three heavy weights. I was put in with the heavy weights.

My boxing coach use to tell me to hit myself as hard as I could when I was at home.  He said "I want you to keep hitting yourself as hard as you can until you aren't afraid of getting hit anymore."

I did what my coach asked, hitting myself in the head and face when no one was looking as hard as I could. His advice worked. When I stepped into the ring I wasn't bracing for or fearing the sting of getting punched in the face, I was thinking defense and offence. It made me a better boxer.

Fight Club's base message as I understand it, is let go of fear.  What would you do if the fear of not doing what you love becomes greater than the fear OF doing what you love.  Remember the guy in the store who wanted to be a veterinarian.

What would you do if someone put a gun to your head and said "I will come back in a month and if you aren't working towards becoming what you always wanted to be, I will kill you. I know where you live."

I have lived my entire life with people telling me I will never make it. Whether it was making the football team (I was not the biggest guy on the field) to becoming a full time artist to us having a child at our age.  If I listened to any of them I would never have done any of the greatest things I have accomplished in my life.

Just makes you wonder.

Got to go, I have a gun to my head at the moment.




Text from Migrate Magazine "Meat" issue


We all have a little evil voice living inside us that at times tells us to do things we shouldn’t. Artist John U. Abrahamson (JUA) listened to that voice and took a journey of survival, pain and reflection. As you view his work and those uneasy
feelings emerge, times them by a few million and you start to understand what this artist lived and nearly died through to create his exhibition, Flesh and Blood.
JUA literally shed his own flesh and blood and purged himself into a life of pain to create this series. Flesh and Blood could be perceived as a symbolic suicide.

He created a hanging prone human form comprised from 660 vials of his own blood and 100 vials of skin suspended by fishing lines from a metal structure hovering over his open journals. People were invited to tear up his writings and take pages home with them – in essence to participate in the destruction of his journals. This served as a metaphoric and transitional rite of passage, a rebirth for John as an artist. JUA spoke about his personal journey, “The spiritual connection it had for me and how I literally put myself into the work is hard to express.
I pushed myself in a way that was much like killing myself. In the beginning I thought of it as a false suicide. I thought, I can’t kill myself, but this is as close as I can come.”

By destroying his journals and giving his blood to the point of compromising his health, he honestly thought that the natural conclusion of the show would be death. In the course of the progression, it became a much more spiritual journey.

38 The issue Printed on Antalis HiQ Titan Plus Matt 250g/m2|cover| and 148g/m2|text| The issue 39

John Abrahamson Flesh&Blood Los Angeles




Hesitation Marks

A little background.

During the last quarter of a century creating fine art I have grabbed hold of soundtracks to paint by.  I have always loved film sound tracks because theyare meant   to evoke mood.  I spent a year painting almost exclusively to the Fight Club and Lost Highway soundtracks.

However, Trent Reznor and I seem to be walking parallel  paths.

I found Pretty Little Hate Machine in a used CD bin in late 1989. Someone must not have liked it.

It felt like what I was expressing on canvas at the time.  It drove me and inspired me.

Then Downward Spiral came out.  I was dealing with a disastrous relationship at the time, early 90,s, and was developing the Dark Work series in reaction to the feelings of restraint and suffocation. Downward Spiral was my muse.

During the preparation and execution of the Flesh and Blood series, With Teeth seemed to mirror my feelings to a T.

Perhaps it is that Trent and I are both creatives at the same age dealing with life with a similar aesthetic.  Whatever the connection it is visceral.

Now as I gear up for the next series NIN's long awaited next album Hesitation Marks is coming out. 

I am looking forward to seeing what Trent and I can create together.



"Vampire Vow" by Michael Schiefelbein

As some of my long time fans may remember, I was Lead Creative Director for the film adaptation of  "Vampire Vow" by Michael Schiefelbein.

Unfortunately, the production company that had purchased the film option went under before the film came to fruition.

Now that the dust has settled, I am currently working on getting this story to film.

It is not an easy story to shop and it could be something that comes back and bites me on the ass but then again I was never accused of taking the easy route creatively.

The piece in the right set of hands has lots of potential but it will definitely have to have fearless backers as the backlash has the potential to being fierce.

We are at the very beginning.  It should be interesting.

Wish me luck.



I just found out today on my birthday that I will be included in "Spectacle, Sense and Sensuality: Exploring Extraordinary Embodiment" to be released in 2014 by Pickering & Chatto Publishers.

Great birthday surprise!



Spent the week in Monterey, re-energizing the creative coils. Looking for a major change in approach artistically. Not sure what that means yet. Finding the muse a little elusive but she is always worth the chase.


I will be featured in the next issue of Migrate Magazine due out in May. The theme of that issue will be "Meat."

So my very fleshy "Flesh and Blood" series will get to spread thier amputated legs a little bit more.

Also, got a little tease of some possible, maybe work later this year with someone I really respect and if, (medium sized if) it does come to fruition, I will be very honored.  But that's all I will say for now as I do not want to jinx it.  Just hoping it does cus he or she is one very talented and and cool cat!


"The Hurting Man"


Drew Daywalt, for those of you who do not know, has been making horror into a true art form for years now through his Daywalt Fear Factory.  With many shorts, TV and film under his belt he keeps one uping himself with each project. 

I have had the pleasure and honor of working with Drew on two past projects, the yet to be released "Mama's Baby" and the SyFy's"Red Clover".


 Now Drew has announced that has signed a deal with producer Eric B. Fleischman of EBF Productions (Ritual, Two-Bit Waltz) to direct The Hurting Man, a supernatural horror feature based on his own original screenplay. Another genre luminary, Larry Fessenden (Habit, Wendigo, The Last Winter) will serve as Executive Producer on the film.

What I love and respect about Drew's work is the origins of his art.  The man digs deep inside and thus allows the viewers to face their own fears.  One of many things that make his works so effective! And the man can entertain you along with the flesh creeping scares!!!

Keep an eye on Drew, my gut is that his star will continue to rise due to shear guts, determination, originality, vision and one twisted mind.