More Blood

Four more weeks to wrap this up.  One painting in studio, more flesh and much more blood needed, going to be tight. 

Stringing 1000 vials, packing everything up, shipping and then set up down in LA.  After that I do believe I will try and enjoy a full night of 8 hours sleep for the first time in almost a year the night before the show.  That is if I am not pulling an all nighter due to the installation and how quickly or slowly it goes together.  I cannot wait to see it all together for the first time. 


ImagineFX Issue 55

Looks like the feature of my work in ImagineFX will be in issue 55, on sale in the UK 9 March instead of 54.  Looking forward to the spread though!


I have been working with an unbelievably creative group from Bucharest, Romania in conjunction with "Flesh and Blood."  They have put together a soundtrack that creates in sound what I am trying to do with paint.  I will be featuring their work on the night of the opening.  They have been sending samples over the last 6 months or so but the latest sample is breath taking in it's portrayal of my work.  Color me spent from listening!  I can't wait to share!


Too tired.

The last painting is sketched and awaiting paint.  Working title "Baggage."  Harvest flesh instead.  My blood guy got sick so missed Monday's blood letting.  Only means I will have to play catch up, increase the number of lettings or shorten the amount of time in between them.  Whatever it takes.  I first thought that I would need about 200 vials to make my "bottle man."  Once I figured the cubic inches of an average human body and translated that to vials with allowance for the space between it came to more like 1000 vials.  That is a little bit of a difference.  There is the addition of the vials of flesh but due to the laborious and VEERRRRYY slow nature of collecting skin I will probably only have about 100 vials of flesh compared to about 900 vials of blood.  Then I will have to string them and pack them for shipment to LA.  The day before the opening will be the first day all the components will be assembled together: 900 vials of blood, 100 vials of flesh, 30-220 pg journals and a whole lot of steel and wood.  Still looking for someone to film the installation work.  Love to have them shoot the assemblage as well.



More blood work on Monday.  One of about 6 more.  If I am able.

Cliteral Smile is Now Sold

One of the first works in the series, now sold. Sorry.


"Pin Cushion"

Just got this back from the Damned Show so I was able to rework it a bit.  Not a proper scan.


"As a Lamb to Slaughter"

Yeah, I know what I said, I have to do some detailing so it is still a work in progress but I wanted to show what I was working on.


The Last Two Months

With about a month and a half before show date I sit here in my studio thinking over the last few things to accomplish before then.

It is a strange place.

After almost a full year of sacrifice from not only myself but from all those around me I have hopefully poured everything I have into this body of work.  It has draining me to the point of compromised health and questionable sanity.  My family has been unbelievably supportive in light of all this. 

The strangness of place I mention though is that moment........that moment that you feel all the promise of the next painting and the wonder of where the work will take you next slowly disapate and you then ready yourself for the final performance.  The one night when you place your year long labors, your reputation and yourself up for review. 

That night.    

There is always that one night when you line all the work up from the last year and ponder what you could have done better, clearer or more eloquently.  This time, however, I will be going through all my journals that will be destroyed.  Between all the rants and raves of my journals are every moment that was tender, horrific or lovely.  Every moment of life, death, birth, gain and loss will be wiped away forever.  I would lie if I said I did not struggle with the decision to destroy all the work for the last 15 years.  But in the end it was what needed to be.

So before the opening, before all the work is done, before the final stroke is applied, I think of what has transpired and what is to come.  One never knows.


Sometimes it Happens

when using an 18 gauge needle for drawing blood.



As promised, during tonights blood draws I took along my handy little pocket camera.  Not the best of shots but gives you an idea of how we get the blood.


Blog without Blogging

We are now down to the wire.  58 days until opening.  One more painting to go, some finish up and allot more blood and flesh to harvest. During this last year of work this blog has been mostly short snippets of information and photos.  Now that we are rounding the last turn I thought it appropriate to actually start blogging.  So without further ado....

The journey has been long and fraught with problems.   Because of my situation which I do not care to elaborate upon here and now, I must start painting at 10:00 to 11:00 pm at night and work until whenever.  Then get up at 8:00 am.  Lack of sleep has taken it's collective toll.  I have aged, tattooed baggage under the eyes, and due to outside influences some of the most stressful times I have ever known.  The work has had kind of a reverse Dorian Grey effect on me as well.  Or more to the point, I have become my work.  Regardless, even if a regular schedule of 3 to 4 hours of sleep a night was the cost I was determined to create.

The creation of the installation work "Flesh and Blood" has taken on a whole live of it's own.  Over the past 6 months or so it was an interesting, frustrating and in the end very heart warming process due to the extremely generous donation of the time and talents of several individuals.  When I began this little misadventure I was not totally confident that I would be able to pull it off.  I mean, the amount of blood it would take to complete the piece seemed prohibitive.  Luckily I found the someone who saw what I was trying to accomplish and also possessed the talent and ability to draw the amount of blood we needed.  We are still working on it by the by.  I go back in tomorrow and will document more of the process for you all to see and will post tomorrow night if I am not too faint.  The resulting work I believe will be worth ever drop of blood spilt or bit of flesh I took from my body.  Oh yeah, the flesh part.  A few have enquired as to the process involved in harvesting flesh.  First and foremost, it is my flesh and nothing but.  The process is laborious and painful if I am not careful.  Above and beyond that I wont elaborate.
I look forward to getting all the various pieces together in Los Angeles.

The work has been hard on me as the aforementioned has stated.  It has also cut closer to the bone than any of my previous work and I cannot say I liked what I saw.  Though the journey has brought me to a place I have not been in a long time I think it has taken more than just the blood and flesh out of me.  Regardless of how the work will be recieved, it is my child and will soon be time to send it into the world.    


"As a Lamb to Slaughter"

I know this wont mean anything to anyone but for the first time I feel pity for one of my creations.  Pity and sorrow.


"At the Altar of Needles"

If you were thinking of purchasing "At the Altar of Needles" it just sold this weekend. 

Lamb to Slaughter

I just finished the first day of  "As a Lamb to Slaughter."   I had no idea when I sketched it just how prophetic it would come to be.


In an unconcerned manner - unaware of any impending catastrophe.